Wednesday, 31 January 2018

Me Time


As a new mum, one of the most cherished times in the day is when my baby is sleeping or when there is someone to take the whole responsibility of the baby.


In the evening when my husband gets her ready for sleep, I get my "me time". And, I secretly hope that this time extends to the unlimited.


Of course, there is the dinner preparation, dishes to lay out, warming the food, etc. But somehow the household work is more relaxing nowadays than handling baby.


Maybe because the whole day I am with her, listening to her coos and cries, cradling her to sleep, changing her diaper, wiping her face, walking her pram, making sure she is not disturbed in sleep, and on and on... that general household work like cooking, shopping, etc. has become a change for me.


This brings me to think about the advantages of a joint family system in many Indian households wherein after marriage the man and his wife chooses to stay with the man's parents (forever) and the grandchildren are raised by all the family members willingly.


I, however, did not get to stay after marriage like this and rather made a separate home with my husband. On the plus side, we enjoyed all the freedom that comes with living independently. And, even now when I got pregnant and delivered my baby girl, we are living independently and raising baby like we want.


But on the flip side, we both are terribly burdened with all that comes with bringing up a new born and quite frequently the stress shows in our relationship as a couple as well.


Yet, we try to show our gratitude towards each other and the tasks we have undertaken (him being the bread earner and me being the homemaker). There are options like giving my baby to a specialized place for daycare and I can easily join a think-tank or become a lecturer in a University, but both me and my husband choose not to do this and spend atleast a year with baby and give her the feel of family.


I read so much about baby and their psychological development from day 1 that I do not want my readings to go wasted.


Career can wait and can be built again. I just became a doctorate and won't in any condition let it flow down the drain.


I do not believe in just giving birth and having a child. I truly want Daisy (my daughter) to become a better human being who is knowledgeable, aware, kind and passionate human being.


Spending time with an unknown and held by helpers in the daycare will not make her what I want her to become.


Therefore, whenever I feel overburdened and my neck hurts, I recollect all that I just mentioned about child rearing. Its true Daisy is a handful but I would not want to trade it.


Under the situation, even a 15 minute "me time" 2-3 times a day is enough.
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